I Wasn’t Prepared

Photo by Amy Humphries on Unsplash

I wasn’t prepared for this black hole to reopen, to reach out and swallow me again.

Never did I want to be back here feeling these feelings while trying to survive this utter sadness. Grief is a steady stream of tears that has managed to shred my heart to pieces.

You would think I would be over this after ten years and that it wouldn’t affect me at this magnitude.

However, the good intentions of people simply overwhelmed me to a point where basic functioning became nonexistent.

New rivers of tears burst forth only for me to gasp for air as I try to stay afloat. I’m beginning to understand what drowning feels like.

— Nicole Barden 10/5/2021

Originally published in Blue Insights on Medium