Photo by Mark Paton on Unsplash

This is how the story goes. We had a fight and words were said. Words that cut us both deeply. Words that lingered long after they had been spoken and still blow through every now and again.

Let’s talk about the fight. There are multiple versions of what happened. Your version will be from your point of view and my version will be from my point of view. Then there is what actually happened, which is the clearest view of all, yet neither of us can see that one.

You see, our views are based on our past experiences. Coming into this fight we already had baggage that was going to make our vision blurry. A spoken word that instantly pisses us off; a look that offends us or a single finger that speaks volumes.

As we retell our version of the story, we try to make ourselves look either better or the victim, to help elicit whatever response we are trying to obtain.

That is how every fight goes and why there are always multiple versions of what really happened.

So, the next time you are in a fight, please try and take a step back to see how your point of view will shape the outcome.

As you become more aware, you will have a better chance to stop the fight before any real damage is done.

— Nicole Barden 5/18/2021

Originally published in Know Thyself, Heal Thyself on Medium